Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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