I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize