don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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