these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
