my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's official drugs can't kill me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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