I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
