with your own penis?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
