Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We are two peas in an std pod
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
