how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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