i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
