so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
