the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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