I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
