If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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