i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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