this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
