looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We left the knife in your bed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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