i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
