my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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