sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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