I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
