This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
