you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
