Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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