Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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