im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
