My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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