You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
