this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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