Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
