Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
