Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
