its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
