I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
