Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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