When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
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He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
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Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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