ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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