Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
