When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
