It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You can't just leave with hair like that
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
