im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
