I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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