She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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