She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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