Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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