Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
