have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
