When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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