So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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