needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
