I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
