sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize