I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.