Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
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most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.