Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.