how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out