is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
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Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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