just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
