so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
