I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
