return my video game
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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