think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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