if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
