whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
