11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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