there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
