i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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